Smells Like Teen Spirit

I tried arranging this all kinds of ways with all kinds of instruments. In the end this was the best version I could come up with. As Kev Says, maybe if he heard this he wouldn’t have blown his head off with a shotgun.

Beat It / Ace Of Spades – On Banjo

Performed this last night in the New Cross Inn.

Westlife Are Shit

I am sure Westlife are nice guys but I have just been doing some research into my upcoming Irishnite gig and I couldn’t help but notice that Westlife are in fact really shit. Take Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’ for example, not only did they do a shit version of it but they had to stick a gear change in at the end! I wonder who suggests these gear changes or is it a contractual thing. One thing to their credit however is that I managed to get through an entire song with them which is more that I can say about D:Ream!

Come to Irishnite. It is going to be the best thing in London this Saint Patrick’s Day.

St. Patrick’s Day Gig: Tues 17 March, 12 Bar Club – Irishnite!

To quote the 12 Bar, here’s some fun things to do in London on Saint Patrick’s Day:

Tuesday 17th March CORMAC HERON £6 Irishnite! ~ Drinkers, Thinkers and Doirty Little Tinkers: All are welcome.

Such was the greatness of the successful musical orgy that was Lovenite that the 12 Bar have invited Northern Ireland’s Cormac Heron back for Saint Patrick’s Day to do Irishnite! Oh yes!

This will be Cormac’s first Saint Paddy’s Day outing in the 12 Bar ever since his sensational With Or Without You I Cannot Live With Or Without You -  a love story between Danny Boy (a boy) and Molly Malone (a hooker) in which Cormac ended up on stilts on the 12 Bar Stage. Yes. Stilts!

Never one to bore his audience Cormac promises a fresh new set of Irish-based material ranging from The Undertones to Boyzone through Iggy Pop and he’ll have a bunch of people joining him onstage – some will be aware that they will be up there beforehand, and some won’t.

If you really want to have a great Paddy’s Day then come down to the 12 Bar for 8.04pm and be prepared for the sublime ridiculations. You can only expect the unexpected but one thing for sure to be sure you will never ever forget this Saint Patrick’s Day night and all so you won’t.

Onstage at 8.04pm and yes, that really does mean 8.04pm folks!

www.12barclub.com

£4 entry with a picture of this page on your phone (or a printout) if you arrive before 8pm. Performance begins as ever at 8.04 pm. (Bar open til very late.)

Facebook event link here.

Lovenite Report!

Lovenite was awesome! Special thanks go out to Rob Thompson who did an excellent job on drums – I was introduced to him about 20 mins before we went on – and Vicky Lines (?) who stepped in to do some vocals. Here is the set list roughly as it happened:

Only The Lonely – Cormac vox & banjo; Kev guit
Misirlou – Cormac banjo; Kev guit; Rob drums
Love Removal Machine Cormac vox & banjo; Kev bass; Rob drums
No Surprises – Kev vox & guit; Cormac banjo
Eye Of The Tiger – Cormac vox & banjo; Kev vox & guit
Chain Reaction – Kev vox; Cormac banjo;
Hello – Cormac vox & banjo; Kev bass; Rob drums
Public Image – Cormac vox & banjo; Kev bass; Rob drums
Don’t Leave Me This Way – Cormac vox & bass; Kev vox & guit; Rob drums
Groove Is In The Heart – Special guest Vicky Lines on vocals; Cormac banjo; Kev bass; Rob drums.
Karma Chameleon – Kev vox & guit; Cormac vox & banjo; Rob drums
Gimme All Your Lovin – Kev vox & guit; Cormac banjo; Rob drums
Waterloo – Kev vox & guit; Vicky vox; Cormac banjo; Rob drums

Encore: Hallelujah – Cormac vox & banjo; Kev guit

For me the highlights were the audience singing along to our simple version of Chain Reaction (plus me being able to remember all the chords to that one – it’s so complicated!), the audience barndancing to our hillbilly rendition of Karma Chameleon and the rawk of Gimme All Your Lovin.

Thanks for all who came down. Looks like I’m back in the 12 Bar again for St Patrick’s Day! (To be confirmed.)

Fri 13th Feb 2009 – Lovenite! 12 Bar Club

I’m hitting the 12 Bar again with Kevin Hylands this Valentine’s Day – Fri 13th Feb actually. Here’s the blurb:

Back for the third year Kevin Hylands and Cormac Heron return to the 12 Bar for their now annual Songs For Lovers performance celebrating the best and best of love songs ever written. This year they will be performing classics from mostly homosexually celebrated artists and some straights including O’Dowd, The Big O and Obba.

Warning! Songs will include banjo and celestial harmonies. You are advised to bring an extra pair of underwear.

£4 entry with a picture of this page on your phone if you arrive before 8pm. Performance begins as ever at 8.04 pm. (Bar open til very late.)

12 Bar Club

London

WC2H 8NL

12barclub.com

Beauty And The Disturbing

Photo by Stephen McNally. 

This was took last time I was out in Serbia. A teenage girl pointed her toe against mine and just as Stephen said “Hang on there a sec” I pulled up the trouser leg. I don’t think she minded.

Fri 24 Oct 2008 – Placard Headphone Festival & Netaudio

The netaudio festival is a four day offline festival for online music, and london placard is very pleased to be contributing to the friday night festivities.  A headphone room will run throughout the evening.  As ever you’ll have to bring your own headphones to hear the music!

The headphone session will go from 7:30pm until 11pm, featuring a packed schedule of 20 minute performances.

Placard veteran Cormac Heron has served up some sonically compelling and visually arresting performances over the years. He returns with a production that he has worked on for two years which was staged only twice in two sell-out performances during this summer. Hailed as a “tour de force” by Pogues’ banjo player (and ex-Placard performer) Jem Finer, Cormac has re-edited and hacked down this one-man, multi-media, musical extravaganza as a one-off Placard special.

Am on at 10.50 pm. That’s later today folks! Here’s the facebook link.

Fri 24 October 2008

• Act: Cormac’s Funk Banjo Musical – Abridged 20 minute version. Last ever performance of this show!
• Event: Placard Headphone Festival - don’t forget your headphones! (1/4″ socket)
• Venue: Shunt
• Time: 11 pm
• Address: Joiner Street, London Bridge Tube Station
• Entrance: £10. (1/4″ adapters for sale @ £1)

Fri 17 October 2008

• Act: Cormac Heron
• Event: New Old Stories On An New Old Guitar (And Banjo)
• Venue: 12 Bar Club
• Time: 8.04 pm
• Address: 22-23 Denmark Street, London, WC2H 8NL
• Entrance: £4 with a mobile pic of this page before 8; £5 if you arrive after 8pm with mobile pic; £6 if you are stupid

Fri 10 Oct 2008; Fri 17 Oct 2007; Fri 24 Oct 2008

Looks like I will be doing a tour of the Fridays starting with this one (10 October) in The Marlborough Arms, Camden. Then I’ll be going back to basics in the 12 Bar Club the following Friday (17 October) and then playing at the second London Placard Headphone Festival (24 October) . For more info check out my gigs section. Come to the 12 Bar Club gig on the 17th if you can. It’ll be me doing what I do best, though I haven’t quite worked out what that is nor what I will be doing.

Fri 10th October 2008 – Eggtimer Gig

• Act: Eggtimer – Improvised Rock (Cormac on bass)
• Event: Joe Moon’s Birthday
• Venue: The Marlboro Tavern
• Time: 10pm
• Address: Sedgmore Place, London SE5 7SE
• Entrance: Free

London Placard Headphone Festival – First Instalment Tomorrow!

I’m on at 19.20 and 20.20. Bring your own headphones. The bigger the better as there seems to be some form of headphone envy that goes on. There should be a live stream. Here’s the site and here’s the full blurb:

Think of a festival in reverse … the London Headphone Festival is back with two sessions of headphones-only listening. Now in our fifth year, we leave our spiritual home off Brick Lane for two new venues. On 20 September we take over beautifully restored warehouse space Cafe OTO in Dalston for an all-day listening session. On 24 October, we move on to the legendary underground space Shunt, deep under London Bridge, as part of the 4-day NetAudio festival.

Placard flips the concept of a traditional festival: instead of a PA we provide massed banks of headphone splitters. The audience plugs in and tunes in. For once, it’s the chance for some focused listening.

Confirmed artists include: Leafcutter John, Family Battlesnake, Joachim Nordwall, Pausal, Mandelbrot, slub, Cormac Heron, Brassica, Philip Julian, Cacao, Birds Of Delay, Bleeding Heart Narrative, The Noiser, Simpson brothers, Ryan Jordan, London Concrete, Yee-King, Spoonfight, Dylan Bates, Brandy Alexander Project, Rob Munro and Meat Sweats.

Past artists have included Hot Chip, David Toop, Janek Schaefer, Adem, Max Eastley, Sanso-Xtro, Jem Finer, Icarus, Main and Colin Potter.

Both venues are fully licensed, and there will be food, merchandise and other bits and pieces. Please bring your own headphones!

Praise and bafflement for previous festivals:

“A far cry from Glastonbury or Reading” — New Statesman
“Ludicrously straightfaced” — The Guardian
“Freebie of the week” — Time Out
“One of the highlights of a long hot summer” — The Wire
“The only way to understand the most communal musical gathering is to come along and plug in” — Kultureflash

Brought to you by area10 media lab / highpointlowlife / it is whatever / [no.signal] / slow sound system / openlab / yaxu.

—————-

Details

Session 1
When: 20 September, 1pm-11pm Where: Café Oto, 18-22 Ashwin St, E8 3DL. info@cafeoto.co.uk Cost: free, £2 suggested donation Map: http://tinyurl.com/6hcdv7

Session 2
When: 24 October / 7-11pm Where: Shunt, 20 Stainer St, SE1 9RL. events@shunt.co.uk Cost: £10 Map:[url= http://tinyurl.com/5cxry9] http://tinyurl.com/5cxry9

Please bring your own headphones! Quarter inch headphone adaptors will be available for rent

—————-

Contact

London Placard: http://london.leplacard.org
International Placard site: http://leplacard.org/
NetAudio festival – http://2008.netaudiolondon.cc/festival
Café Oto – http://www.cafeoto.co.uk
Shunt – http://www.shunt.co.uk

—————-

About the Placard Headphone Festival

Le Placard started in 1998 in Paris, France. At that time finding venues for alternative music was difficult, and police raids on unlicensed events were frequent. So instead Erik Minkkinen organised a headphone party in his small apartment, called ‘placard’ after the French word for ‘cupboard’.

Since then this concept has grown to an international streaming festival, with tens of cities providing listening rooms for local and remote performances. Placard has formed part of the Mutek, Transmediale, Garage and Pixelache festivals. The event in Paris has itself grown into an institution, running for 72 hours straight where the audience sleep with their headphones on, still listening.

18th Sep 2008 World Tour Of New Cross: Tonight!

Hey there! I am doing a Phil Collins by playing two gigs tonight in New Cross. One in Montague Arms, the best rough pub in the country! Come on down! Also I am playing two gigs on Saturday at the Placard Headphone Festival – see gigs section for more details.

Thurs 18 September 2008

• Act: Cormac Heron
• Event: The Ticket That Exploded
• Venue: Montague Arms
• Time: 9pm
• Address: 289, Queens Rd, London, SE15 2PA
• Entrance: £3 (Cheap)

Thurs 18 September 2008

• Act: Eggtimer – Improvised Rock (Cormac on bass)
• Event: South Of The River Electric
• Venue: Goldsmith’s Tavern
• Time: 10pm
• Address: 316 New Cross Road, London, SE14 6AF
• Entrance: Free

The Last Gig In The World

Eggtimer play their special brand of improvised rock to celebrate the end of the world as reported here.

Venue: New Cross Inn

Address: 323 New Cross Road, London, SE14 6NF

Admission: Free. (Even if it’s not you can just come and storm the place. So what if you get arrested. We’re all gonna die anyway.)

Mark E. Smith In Conversation

Mark E. Smith was in the Queen Elizabeth Hall recently promoting his new book, Renegade. He didn’t learn anything new in writing the book and he explained that he had to make stuff up as he had to fulfill a word count. Mark was as obnoxious as you would expect where he just disagreed with pretty much everything put his way. He even called into question the internet explaining that it was “just some fucker in Hartlepool in his bedroom”. He also claimed that The Fall were “not a fucking Manchester band” and “not a fucking Salford band” but they were in fact “a fucking nothing band” and that they “could’ve fucking come from anywhere.”

After the “gig’ Mark E was doing a book signing so I went along to meet the man…

I brought along my mate and singer of Eggtimer. Joe brought with him an acoustic guitar. When we reached the front of the queue I played Mark the bassline of Mountain Energei on Joe’s acoustic…

CH: Do you know it?
MES: *Looking puzzled and interrogating me with his eyes*
CH: *Playing the bassline again* Do you know it?
MES: Yeah I do actually… what is it?
CH: I Dunno. You fucking wrote it!
MES: *Looking puzzled and interrogating me with his eyes*

Mark just continued to scrutinise me whilst chewing his tongue and trying to decide should he hug me or throw me a beating. I think it was my suit and tie that was throwing him.

I then asked him to sign my book asking him what was that bit of graffiti he read on a wall in Belfast that he was referring to during his In Conversation performance. I thought he’d said something like “Our future is your history.” Instead he said it was “Our equity is your future.” I prefer my misinterpreted version.

It was all very light-hearted until I asked him if he’d sign the guitar also and he explained very elaborately “Naa.” He didn’t seem to mind having his picture took all the same.

Mark E. Smith & Cormac Heron

Fri 14th Feb 2008 – Hylands & Heron! (Back By Popular Demand)

• 12 Bar Club Denmark Street, London, WC2
• Date: Friday 14 Feb 2008
• Time: 8.04 p.m.
• Price: £4 b4 8 with a picture of this page on your phone; £5 after 8 with a picture of this page on your phone; £6 if you are stupid

The genius thing about playing a gig on Valentine’s Day is that it’s already genius. The sad thing is that only lonely saddos come and see you play. Well Kev and I have decided to play the songs from our Valentine’s Day gigs of this year and last year in what would be The Best Of The Valentine’s which will actually be the worst of the music of both shows.

We put in so much work for both shows that we are putting none in to this one. Still we are overrehearsed for it. Come on down. You will laugh your wet pants off.

Songs For Single Lovers – For Single Lovers Only: Double Take!

After the success of staging last year’s one-off Valentine’s Day special Cormac Heron and Kevin Hylands make a return to the 12 Bar Club with a brand new set tailor-made for the most romantic day of 2008.

Last year Cormac Heron – the only person ever to have performed at the 12 Bar on stilts – created beautiful moments with his singing of Tom Waits’ ‘Fish & Bird’ whilst Kevin Hylands performed a touching rendition of Nick Cave’s ‘Straight To You’. Then together the two Irish lads delivered moving versions of songs as diverse as ‘Plaisir D’Amour’, ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?’ and ’I Dunno Who You Are Oh Baby But You’re Everything I’m Dreaming Of I Dunno Who You Are But You’re A Real Dead Ringer For Love A Real Dead Ringer For Love’.

Come on down then and make your Valentine’s Day as beautiful as the world will allow by bringing that loved one for a special night that you will try to remember. (And it doesn’t matter what that special one looks like because for all you know you could be the ugly one in the relationship).

Cormac will be on his electric banjo and bass with Kevin playing his acoustic and both of them singing with their mouths. Drawing from a rich repetoire of classic love songs from the likes of The Isley Brothers, David Bowie and Motorhead your dreams are guaranteed to be wet with tears of joy.

Special note: This will be Cormac’s last fully prepared performance until June. To find out more go ask him.