Top 10 Tips For Touring Mega Rich Pop Stars

It would seem that many pop stars can very easily forget what it was like when they were very grateful for their fans attending their gigs and now are just taking them for granted so I have compiled a top ten list of concert etiquette for these ingrates to check every so often.

1. When booking a tour, ensure that the performance will be of a good sound quality. Make sure:
   • There are enough speakers with powerful enough amps.
   • These speakers are pointed at the heads of the audience.
2. Having ensured that the audience can hear you, now do the other side of things and ensure the audience can see you. Put up enough screens so that the people you have charged £75 can see what is going on. (When you sell DVDs you don’t make sure that the image only fills 5% of the TV screen.)
3. Try and book the concert to match the demand for the tickets. If you notice that the concert sells out in under 2 days (and that includes when it sells out in 20 minutes) then put on another show.
4. Continue to do number 3 until until the demand has dried up. This will do three things:
   • Stop tickets being sold on eBay for 10 times their face value.
   • Make you more money.
   • Increase your fan base (providing you have fulfilled points 1 and 2).
5. Try to remember what it was like when you were starting out and were doing anything to make ends meet e.g. working as a waitress, placard-holder or rent-boy. In other words try to make money but don’t be vulgar by charging obscene amounts. Have a chat with a rent-person and ask them what they think is enough money for them to get by on for a week to gauge how much you should charge. What you then charge will be a truer reflection on yourself. (Right now you are just being deemed as willing to put out charity records as long as it boosts you career but when it comes to looking after your fans you are screwing them for every penny.)
6. If you do book a gig, play it! Don’t cancel it the week before just because you messed up on point 3 by booking too big a venue on a Monday night in a country you haven’t played in 14 years. (Prince take note!) Similarly don’t get so messed up that you can’t get out of the room where all your drugs are. (Amy and Pete take note – but then again you’re hardly mega rich are you?)
7. If you do mega deals with Live Nation (or whoever are putting on your concerts) then ensure they carry out points 1 and 2. But remember! The buck stops with you, so you cannot offload any blame.
8. If you have messed up on points 1 and 2 then never, ever, ever let your promoters gloat like this. Remember point 7: The buck stops with you and therefore any gloating will look very, very bad on your part.
9. If you love it do it! Prince got it so right by playing 21 nights in London and then playing afterpartys where he could let his hair down and play what he wanted. In fact Prince has it so right in very many ways. He doesn’t charge too much and is a proper showman. His screens mostly just show him as he is such a good, singer, guitarist, pianist, dancer, bassist, drummer, etc. His main problem, as he rightly states, is that he has too many hits.
10. If you do make a mess of things then promptly apologise. It’s only manners you know. You greedy shit.

These tips were inspired mostly by the comments of this thread.

Madonna & Live Nation Need To Apologise

It would seem from this thread that Madonna and Live Nation need to apologise for putting on a show where the sound quality was unacceptable.

Many people had spent quite a lot of money and travelled from afar with high expectations for the show only to be treated to a performance which had substandard sound quality. Now Madonna’s fans are up in arms and are demanding that the star provides a full apology and assurances that this type of fiasco will not happen again.

To add a further insult to the the fans Madonna came on quite late and therefore just as she was coming off the stage the tube station was shutting leaving many fans stranded in Wembley without a clue to get home.

Large star musicians need to remember how they became stars in the first place and they need to be aware that if they charge about half a week’s wages for a ticket then they have a moral obligation to put on a show which the audience can hear without too much fear of how they might get home at night.

As Ian Lloyd has commented:

In case anyone is thinking that the promoters are listening to all the negative comments, think again … I spotted this update on Twitter and, frankly, they might just as well have given me a good kick in the balls: http://twitter.com/livenationsocal/statuses/920523957. Getting *very* angry now!

Madonna & The Guitar

Madonna played a far bit of guitar the other night. She played mostly a black Gibson Les Paul with open tuning (meaning she could play with one finger) although she also played a pink Gibson SG with a whammy bar – they are not usually made with whammy bars – as well as playing a Gibson acoustic.

It would seem however from the responses on this thread that no one is really into Madonna playing the guitar. Why is that I wonder? Is there anybody who is into her playing it?

Madonna vs. Kylie

After the recent success of Kylie Minogue’s O2 outing, and the failure of Madonna’s Wembley performance, people are now wondering who is the current Queen of pop… and for how long?

Madonna Jokes

A man walks into a pub and is surprised to see Madonna standing behind the bar.
“Can I have a pint of lager please Madonna?”
“Certainly sir” replies Madonna.
Madonna pulls the pint and pops it on the bar and demands “That will be “£160 please sir.”
“That’s a bit steep isn’t it Madonna?” asks the man.
“Yes well I haven’t included the booking fee.”
“Huh?” the man exasperates.
“Get out! Get out!” shouts Madonna. “The show is over!”
“But! But! But! replies the man. “There are no more tubes!” begs the man.
“Exactly!” says Madonna. “See you next time!”
“What?” cries the man. “I can’t hear you!”

Based on the complaints from this show.

Madonna Complaints

Madonna played Wembley last night and many are complaining that the sound was awful as well as the fact that her show started late and therefore ended very late leaving many people stranded and even some having to sleep rough on the streets of London. So where to complain about Madonna concert?

Those wishing to complain about the Madonna gig should write to info@livenation.co.uk stating their full contact details (name, address, phone number, email), the nature of their complaint (please be specific, e.g. what you could or could not hear etc.) and your seating and booking reference numbers (these will be on your tickets).

Warning! Live Nation are only able to deal with the purchaser for those of you who bought off eBay. (That includes me!)

You can also write to Madonna via her website here.

Live Nation will be handling Madonna’s new studio efforts, tours, merchandise, DVD releases, sponsorships, licensing agreements, fan club, Web site, and TV and film projects until 2017. They also other large acts including U2.

Madonna Review: Wembley Gig – September 11 2008

 

I’d never seen Madonna before so I was going to this gig with high expectations. I mean this girl has been around the same amount of time as Prince!

The video intro sequence set the whole thing up – it was amazing. A candy-styled pinball extravagansa. You could see that this five minute intro was a project in itself. From the video content to the way it was displayed on moving screens. It really set the gig up. Dancers appeared and then the Queen of pop was revealed on a throne turning on a platform.

The opening ‘Candy Shop’ was Madonna informing everyone that she is still working on delivering her best material. Then she followed it up with another one off the new album ‘Beat Goes On’ and then ‘Human Nature’ so when ‘Vogue’ kicks in the crowd are well up for it. Madonna is in great shape and is dancing flat out.

An interlude follows where two of her dancers perform a mock boxing match which Madonna slips into something less comfortable and presumably catches her breath. She reappears with a black Gibson Les Paul and plays ‘Into The Groove’ complete with Keith Haring-like video content broadcast behind her. Another new one ‘Heartbeat’ follows and then she’s back with another Gibson for ‘Borderline’, this time it’s a pink SG complete with a whammy bar!

‘She’s Not Me’, ‘Music’, Video Interlude (with Eurythmics’ ‘Sweet Dreams’), ‘Devil Wouldn’t Recognise You’, ‘Spanish Lesson’ and ‘Miles Away’ are next. ‘La Isla Bonita/Lela Pala Tute’ get the crowd going frantic and then there is a strange Romanian folk interlude where Madonna is sitting whilst being serenaded by the eldest guitarist of the folk group. Quite touching and nice to see Madonna take a much needed rest – she’s really been giving it plenty! ‘You Must Love Me’, Video Interlude, ’4 Minutes’ and then ‘Like A Prayer’ which is electric. So retro it’s great though I would have liked to have seen the backing choir instead of hearing them recorded.

‘Ray Of Light’ is awesome. And the projections behind seem very current what with CERN’s LHC recreating the Big Bang this week. Then Madonna tells us she’s up for doing requests but “I’m not doing that one cos I can’t remember the lyrics…I can’t even remember the words to the new ones”. Then, with just the drums backing her, she delives a quick rendition of ‘Express Yourself’ with the audience providing a very convincing accompaniment. “This is why I love the UK!” she explains, then dropping into the opening guitar riff of ‘Hung Up’.* She’s been having the craic with the audience throughout.

Ending with ‘Give It 2 Me’ Madonna is definitely stating that this is no farewell tour and that she these new songs are just as relevant, timeless and anthemic as the classics she didn’t play. In fact she didn’t even need to play ‘Material Girl’ or ‘Like A Virgin’ or ‘Holiday’ or ‘Lucky Star’ or Crazy For You’ or ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ or… you get the idea.

Great gig and the Queen of pop she is… but she ain’t no Prince.

* Girls take note! For this track Madonna used an open tuning and just played the 4 bass strings meaning she could rock out with just using one finger. She’s definitely a worthy guitarist though as she proved with ‘Borderline’.

Footnote: Many people seem to have had an awful experience because of the sound. Those wishing to complain should write to info@livenation.co.uk stating their full contact details (name, address, phone number, email), the nature of their complaint (please be specific about what you could or could not hear) and your seating and booking reference numbers (these will be on your tickets). (Thanks Martyn!)

Live Nation will be handling Madonna’s new studio efforts, tours, merchandise, DVD releases, sponsorships, licensing agreements, fan club, Web site, and TV and film projects until 2017. Yikes!

You can also write to Madonna via her website here.